Insomnia aka silent night

The city never sleeps. That tired cliche never applied here. But there are times when she just won't shut up. Here inside my cozy little home, however, there is a silence except for the clatter of my keyboard as I interface with the world again. By day, I am content in my solitude, basking in the warmth of thoughts that I need share with no one. By night, I trawl the blogosphere, seeking something I cannot put my finger on. I know it isn't human contact, I get more than I can handle in the brick and mortar world. This is something more intangible, a certain feeling perhaps, a sense of belonging, but not in the sense of being among others who think and act the way I do. No. It is something bigger than that trivial desire to socialise. In a sense, I want to know that I belong to the human race, perhaps find a greater pattern to it all. And so I read random blogs and sift through layers of pornography (it exists here in significant proportions) and boring pre-pubescent chatter, but always come up empty-handed. And I go to work the next day, bleary-eyed and dull-headed, looking forward to nothing but the chance to find it at last, that elusive thing that will help me make sense of my life. But maybe it doesn't exist. Maybe I'm just crazy and all this lack of sleep makes me throw out random thoughts that I would never consider after a good night's sleep.